drinking alone

I go out often by myself mostly to Vox a wine lounge around the corner. I have made friends with the staff and on slow night just have a couple of glasses and sit and talk with them just taking up time and satisfying the need for human interaction. I don’t really talk with the guests though, it curious, there are often attractive women there. Sometimes alone and I have struck up a casual conversation here and there but most of the times I just sit by myself and enjoy my wine and think. Not about anything at all just let the day wash over me. Little by little I start to unravel my self in a way.

My thoughts simply begin to race, coming at me fast and then disappearing before im truly able to grasp them. Most are about work what I need to do tomorrow, some are about money, when am I ever gong to be financially stable enough to feel free to do what I want, have I made the right career choice should I have finished school, I wonder what kind of panties the girl across the bar has on, what type of wine is she drinking, what does that say about her. Do I have toilet paper at home? All silly inane thoughts that don’t go any where barely staying in my minds eye for a second before its gets’ crowded out by the deluge of other thoughts all racing to take center stage. To become the most important thought in my mind, thoughts have a life of there own they are each individuals wants or fears pure and straight forward in the subconscious that exploded forth attempting to be the one that action is taken on. I think all these thought really just want that. To be validated for a choice to be made.
Vegas is a strange place, it’s the strip glamour, fame, sin, incredible wealth. All mixed together in the middle of the dessert lit by millions of light bulbs the rival the stars in the sky, neon’s and prostitute and the promise of wining big if your lady luck just decides to stay by your side. But that is about three miles of Vegas. that’s it. There is a city around that strip well more truthfully there are suburbs that surround the strip, Vegas doesn’t actually have a downtown not really a city just a bunch of suburbs where the locals live. These locals have it different than any where else. Because of the transient nature of this town relationships form strongly between those that do find a mate here. In seemed like in Houston everyone was single, or just getting in to a relationship or just getting out of one. But here all you get is relationships that seem to last for years and marriages at a young age. It seems that because no one is really from here and people are always leaving that those who stay here have to cling to each other.